61. You haven't cut as many “thes” and “thats” as possible!

If a reader sees “the” all over everywhere, they're going to know you're not a top writer. Same with “that.”

Type “Ctrl F” or “Apple F” and search out “the” and “that” and get rid of a lot of them. It will tighten up your writing.

Alex just stares down and squeezes the meat out of a crab leg.

Alex just stares down and squeezes meat out of a crab leg.
 

Here is one sentence with five instances of “the.” Ugh.

As the boat approaches the beach, the waves start breaking off the bow on the nearby reefs.

As the boat approaches the beach, waves start breaking off the bow on nearby reefs. 


Do you want me to go on? Of course you do!

It is their oak tree strength as a couple, the inspirational letters from his children, and his brother’s devotion that gives Claus the strength he needs for the journey ahead. 

 We see that Detective Able is eavesdropping.


 “Substitute damn every time you're inclined to write very; your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
Mark Twain


Seven Deadly Sins of Screenwriting


Using Find (Ctrl F or Apple F) in your computer, chase down these words in any form you find them. Losing them or changing them will strengthen your work.

“Find”   spaceisspace    should find only the word you're looking for, not every “is” in your screenplay.

 is       He is grinning... becomes… He grins.

 are      The convicts are singing opera... The convicts sing opera.

the      Nacho hightails it out of the town... Nacho hightails it out of town.

that      Ralph can't tell that she's French... Ralph can't tell she's French.

then     She laughs. She then looks at Alice... She laughs. She looks at Alice.

walk    Tika walks down the hall... Tika prisses down the hall.

sit      Sitting at the poker table, Doc deals the cards... At the poker table, Doc           deals...

stand    The surgeon stands at the operating table and works... At the operating            table, the surgeon works...

look     Cheryl is looking at Stephanie... Cheryl studies Stephanie.

just      I am just totally exhausted... I am totally exhausted.

of the    Tom sits by the entrance of the mall... Tom sits by the mall entrance...

begin     The tape begins playing... The tape plays.

start     She starts moving toward the den... She moves toward the den.

really     Betty is really pretty... Betty, hot as a two dollar pistol, struts in.

very     The kids sing a very old song... The kids sing a traditional song. (“very”            means the following word is weak...)

ly       (as on the end of an adverb!) search for lyspace   Also search for ly.            and ly, as lyspace will not find an adverb at the end of a sentence, etc.            Grade school writers go wild over adverbs. You're past that now. Use            them, um, sparingly. If at all.

Change these words in whatever you write and the results will be tighter and stronger.

Okay, so it's sixteen deadly sins. So sue me.